The journey within the journey

I am pleased to report that I made it out of Cuba! Ok I guess you’ve figured this out by now so no big news there ha.. Stating that im going back in January to feed my Cuba-addiction is probably another fruitless attempt to surprise you so I might as well just move on to the main part of this entry now..
  

Originally, because I keep receiving questions about this, my plan was to write about the everyday life of a traveller, you know in the ordinary way, but as I was collecting my thoughts through comparing my life before and after 28 Sept 2014 I realised how similar the two radically different lifestyles were in at least one aspect: the challenges of finding and maintaining balance. So I decided to use this as a perspective through which I’m hoping to give you a more interesting insight..  

You might be wondering what do I need to balance when traveling is all fun and joyful skipping and laughter, right? Yes, a pre-arranged package-holiday probably is..but long term backpacking is slightly different and in many (mainly psychological) aspects it can be very much like a “normal” life. With a full-time job. With constantly evolving job description and no paycheques. Which you don’t mind because you are doing the work you love. You are a self employed multitasker working from home (except that there’s no home as such) and you need to balance being the boss, the creative person, the financial controller, the project manager, the investor and the getting-things-done person..while you are going through the cycles of the ordinary employee who some days just want to call in sick and have a few days off to enjoy her holiday..  

What follows here are some of the challenges I’ve experienced since I started my trip and my attempts to overcome them.. I like to call this The psychological journey of becoming a full-time world wanderer..or at least how I've experienced it..

stage 0 (the last 2-3 months before departure date) 

settings & challenges: you’ve managed to pick a starting point on the map, got your ticket and a guidebook for the first country you visit; you are excited but also careful not to ruin the spontaneousness, flexibility and adventurousness of your trip by over-planning; you are trying to put together a superhero kit that’s suitable for most situations you can think of without spending ridiculous amounts or ending up with a 20kg backpack; you are trying to create the illusion of having a plan without really having a plan; ultimately, you just can’t wait to be there.. 

my coping mechanism: skim through the guidebook for basic info but look only at the photos for inspiration; book a hostel for when you arrive but only for a few nights (later you’ll realise even this is too much); postpone most of your gear purchasing until you are so fed up with comparing brands and products that you’ll end up buying only what’s absolute necessary (even that will be too much) 

stage 1 (month1) 

settings & challenges: first morning of your oh-my-god-finally-it-is-really-happening trip, you wake up in a dorm and feel almost embarrassed about how new all of your stuff look compared to those of the other travellers laying around everywhere; you can’t find anything in your backpack; you are trying to play cool even though you feel as if you were back at day1 of primary school; you are still your good old organised and efficient self so you go to the reception desk and book the next 3 bus journeys for the week (only to later promise yourself that you never lock yourself into such a long-term (!) fixed schedule ever again) 

my coping mechanism: keep calm and pretend you know what you are doing without marvelling too much at everything or hugging everyone just cos you are so fkn happy to finally be travelling 

cost vs comfort balancing act fail

stage 2 (month2 - month6) 

settings & challenges: your belongings start to look a bit less new, which is nice; you are heaps better in hostel-style socialising; you hardly have anything booked ahead apart from your accommodation for the night; you are living THE trip of your life but in the back of your mind you think you’ll probably end up returning to Europe; the once-in-a-lifetime nature of your trip justifies some irrational moves in your itinerary (and your budget); you still have a guidebook for the country you are in but you mainly follow recommendations from fellow travellers; you still get the occasional pressure of seeing all the must-see and trying all the must-do but that museum visit keeps getting postponed; by the end of this stage you are an experienced backpacker, you are doing things your way and you are loving every moment of it 

my coping mechanism: swim with the flow but not necessarily in the main stream; do stop for a few days when you feel you are becoming jaded with pretty sceneries and all the thrill; skipping some items on the must-see/do/eat/take-picture-of lists is ok; spending a day or two in front of your computer, hardly leaving the hostel is ok too; try your best not to freak out when you pass the mid-term point of your planned travel time (but know that there’ll be no escape from the freak-out when the countdown of the last month starts)

stage 3 (month6 - Round2) 

settings & challenges: you know deep inside something has changed and there’s no turning back; you are in love with your backpack and everything it represents; your mind races as you realise you won’t be returning to Europe and the (perceived) relative easiness of making a living; all of a sudden your budget becomes a constant factor in your decision making; you are happy, excited, bit scared but confident; your mind races as you are researching options and solutions for a new no-plan plan; you find it difficult to stay in the now and appreciate the last few weeks of Round1; you get a bit confused when returning to Europe - everything is so familiar, yet nothing feels the same anymore; your mind races; you are trying to time your next moves without losing grip on the now but it feels like you are aiming at a moving target while standing on a rocking ground; your mind races.. 

my coping mechanism: take it one day at a time; hug your friends and family when you see them; keep breathing 

stage 4 (month1 of Round2, Cuba) 

  

settings & challenges: it feels like you sneaked away to a mini holiday with your lover before starting at your new job; you are back in the “it’s happening” period which usually makes you more relaxed than "the preparation" ones; the uncertainty of your next meaningful income makes you a bit uneasy but you are armed with options and determination; the freedom of the one-way ticket keeps you both calm and excited; your new life goals and your love for Cuba keep you motivated; you believe in your plan(s)..and that somehow everything will work out just fine 

my coping mechanism: balance tourist and local life in Havana by going grocery shopping and taking public transportation, hand washing your clothes and heating water on the stove for the bucket-shower; enjoy the lack of internet as a distraction and start moving your projects from “planning" to "doing” stage - even if only in baby-steps 

stage 5 (month2 of Round2  - present ) 

settings & challenges: you are no longer a traveller but you are not settling anywhere either; your trying-to-create-a-lifestyle mode starts to overpower your traveler mode; you are getting too focused on earning money and making ends meet; you are also back at school studying towards your 3rd career to become a digital nomad; you are overwhelmed with options of how to earn money while traveling - they make it sound so easy, you are starting to put too much pressure on yourself as a result; you are impatient when trying to set up temporary camp in Antigua which includes starting to work in bars; old habits die hard and your not-to-fail-whatever-the-job-is self creeps back on you till you stress yourself out to early-London levels; luckily, this time it takes only weeks rather than years to realise what you are doing to yourself, you stomp on the breaks and go zen out in hippie-ville.. where you flick through a buddhism for dummies book with your morning coffee and end up writing about travel life balance…! 

my coping mechanism: redefine balance as jumping from one side of the scale to the other just before it’d tip over; repeat..  

How many more stages and what will those be like..? yet to be seen.. 

..but if you ever wondered what it feels like to move from the settled lifestyle to the nomad one.. now you know what it felt like to me. And I have to say it was really interesting trying to define and summarize these different stages so I’d encourage you to do the same..whatever your journey is. And if you do, please share cos I’d love to read it!